Valentines

Red, White, and nothing more.

I’ve never really been hyped about Valentine’s Day.

Even as a child, it was just “Valentine’s Day”.

In primary school, Valentine’s Day was innocent and fun. Our teachers would randomly pair us with a classmate, and that person would be your Valentine for the day. It didn’t matter the gender. It didn’t matter who liked who. It was random. Simple.

We would wear red and white to school. Exchange small gifts. Dance afterwards. That was it.

There wasn’t pressure. There wasn’t meaning attached to it.

It wasn’t about being chosen. You simply were.

Love felt light.

And when I say light, I don’t mean shallow or unserious. I mean unburdened. The kind of love that isn’t heavy with expectation or proof, that isn’t measured by how loudly it’s displayed or how publicly it’s confirmed. Back then, it wasn’t competitive or calculated. You weren’t trying to impress anyone. You weren’t trying to secure a position in someone’s life. It wasn’t tied to status or validation. It was playful. Temporary. Safe.

By secondary school, we were suddenly “mature.”

The teachers didn’t choose for us anymore. Valentine’s became something private. Romantic. Intentional.

It was now for lovers.

And maybe that’s when it stopped feeling light.

Somewhere between childhood and growing up, love stopped being random and started being selective. It became about who chose you. Who posted you. Who bought you gifts. Who didn’t.

And when you don’t get anything on Valentine’s Day, it’s strange how quickly your mind turns on you. It stops being just a day and starts feeling like a verdict. You begin to question yourself — not loudly, but quietly. Am I undesirable? Am I invisible?

Even if no one says it outright, there’s this subtle culture that makes you feel like you should be embarrassed for not being chosen. As though love is a public award handed out once a year, and if your name isn’t called, it must mean something about your worth.

But it doesn’t. It never did.

I’ve never really been hyped — not because I don’t believe in love. I do. I love love. I love softness. I love the idea of being chosen.

I just don’t love when it feels like something you have to earn.

Maybe I don’t miss Valentine’s Day itself.

Maybe I just miss when love felt light —

natural, playful, and safe.

Like something you could step into,

not something you had to prove you deserved.

Happy Valentine’s Day